25 Long Distance Relationship Ideas (Plus Gifts That Travel Well)

Long distance relationships take more planning than most. When you can't bump into each other in the kitchen, closeness has to be created on purpose. The upside is that couples who do it well often build habits that stay with them long after they're living in the same city.

This guide collects 25 things you can do together while you're apart, grouped by type, plus gift ideas that work well when they have to arrive by post.

A few ground rules that help

• Agree on a rhythm. Some couples call every night, others prefer a long call twice a week. There's no right answer, but having one you both agree on prevents a lot of hurt feelings.
• Respect the time difference. If you're in Perth and they're in Sydney, three hours matters. If it's Melbourne and London, it changes everything. Take turns being the one who stays up late.
• Have something on the calendar. A date for the next visit, even a rough one, makes the time in between easier.
• Mix the serious and the silly. Not every call needs to be deep. Some of the best ones are just two people laughing at a bad film.

Long distance within Australia

You don't need to be on different continents for distance to bite. Perth to Sydney is a long flight, and even Melbourne to Brisbane takes careful planning on a budget. Time zones matter more than people expect: Western Australia is two or three hours behind the east coast depending on the season, and during daylight saving Queensland stays an hour behind New South Wales and Victoria. If one of you works early or late shifts, a call that suits one person can land at an awkward time for the other, so it's worth writing down the times that work for both of you.

Virtual dates

1. Cook the same recipe. Choose a dish, shop for the same ingredients, and cook together on a video call. Eat at the same time.
2. Watch a film in sync. Use a watch-party feature or simply press play at the same moment. Keep the call on for commentary.
3. Have a takeaway night. Order dinner delivered to each other's door as a surprise. Choosing their meal is half the fun.
4. Do a virtual museum or gallery tour. Many major museums offer free online tours. Explore together and pick a favourite piece each.
5. Play an online game. Word games, trivia, co-op video games or online chess. A little friendly competition goes a long way.
6. Go for a "walk" together. Both head out for a walk at the same time with headphones in, describing what you see.
7. Have a stargazing call. Lie outside on a clear night and look up. If you're in different hemispheres, describe the different skies to each other.

Small daily rituals

1. A morning and goodnight message. Simple, but it bookends the day with each other.
2. A shared photo of the day. One photo each, every day, of something ordinary. Over months it becomes a diary of your lives.
3. A question of the day. Take turns asking a question, from "What's your earliest memory?" to "What would you do with a free year?" You'll learn things you never would in person. Our free questions to ask your partner include a whole set written for video calls.
4. A shared playlist. Add a song whenever one reminds you of them. Listen to it on the way to work.
5. A countdown. Keep a visible countdown to the next visit. Our free days together calculator can also show how many days you've been together and when your next milestone falls.

Projects to work on together

1. Read the same book. One chapter at a time, then talk about it on your call. A two-person book club.
2. Plan your next trip in detail. Build a shared document with places to eat, things to see and a day-by-day plan. The planning is part of the fun.
3. Learn something together. A language, an online course, a skill. It gives you shared progress and something new to talk about.
4. Write a story together. Take turns writing a paragraph each day. It doesn't have to be good. It usually gets very funny.
5. Create a "when we live together" list. The things you'll do once the distance is over: the dog you'll adopt, the first meal in the new place, the walk you'll take every Sunday.

Things to send in the post

1. Handwritten letters. In a world of messages, a letter in the letterbox is a genuine event. Our guide to love letter ideas can help you start.
2. Open-when letters. A bundle of envelopes for different moods: "Open when you miss me", "Open when you've had a long day", "Open when you can't sleep".
3. A care package. Their favourite snacks, a tea or coffee you both like, a candle, a small book, and a note.
4. Something that smells like you. A worn T-shirt or a few sprays of your perfume or cologne on a scarf. It sounds silly until you're the one receiving it.
5. Photos, printed. Real prints of your last visit to stick on the fridge.

Making visits count

1. Do ordinary things. It's tempting to fill every visit with big outings, but grocery shopping and lazy Sunday mornings help you practise being together in everyday life.
2. Start a visit tradition. The same café on the first morning, a photo in the same pose at the airport, a meal you always cook on the last night.
3. Plan the next visit before this one ends. Leaving is easier when the next date is already booked.

Gift ideas that travel well

Long distance gifts have a few extra requirements: they need to survive the post, they should feel personal, and ideally they help close the gap rather than highlight it.

• Something they can hold that connects to you. A Lumière card is a card with an NFC chip inside: when they tap it with their phone, it opens a private page with your photos, videos, your song and a letter. You can keep adding to the page after every visit, so the card keeps up with your story. It's slim and posts easily, and you can send it straight to their address.
• A matching pair. Matching mugs, bracelets or keyrings, one for each of you.
• A "same moment" gift. Two of the same candle, lit at the same time on a call, or the same bottle of wine for a virtual date.
• A framed map with both your cities marked and the distance between them.
• A booked visit. The ultimate long distance gift is time together. A plane ticket in an envelope will beat most things you could buy.

For more, see our full guide to long distance relationship gifts, which covers what to put on a love story page when you're apart.

When it gets hard

Every long distance relationship has rough patches: missed calls, misunderstandings that would have been solved in five minutes in person, the visit that gets cancelled. A few things that help:

• Assume good intent. Text messages lose tone. If something reads badly, ask before reacting.
• Talk about the end point. Distance is easier when you both know it won't last forever and have a rough plan for closing it.
• Keep your own life full. Friends, hobbies and routines make you a happier partner, and give you more to share.

The bottom line

Distance doesn't decide whether a relationship works. Effort does. Pick a few ideas from this list, make them habits, and the kilometres will start to feel a little shorter.